There has been much written about the murder-suicide of Kansas City Chiefs professional football player Jovan Belcher and his girlfriend (and mother of his son) Kasandra Perkins. Bob Costos invoked the wrath of every gun enthusiast by stating that the murder-suicide would not have happened without easy access to firearms. Others want to focus on the suicides in the NFL and the long term impact on the body that occurs from playing professional football. While gun control and what we use to entertain us are things that needs to be discussed, I would like to focus on the murder aspect of it.
Belcher is not alone among the suicidal in deciding that before they go, they are going to take someone with them. When men decide to kill before a suicide, they most frequently kill their spouse or girlfriend. Women who kill before a suicide will most frequently kill their young children. It should illustrate to all of us the depth of madness that is going on because they are “taking with them” not just any old random person, or some enemy, but the person or people they supposedly love the most. What they have decided is the right answer for them must be the right answer for their loved ones too, right? So the insane thinking must go.
God has given us our lives as a gift. The gift of life is not an easy one. The path can sometimes be dark and be difficult. But better times are usually still before us in this life, no matter the situation. And even when they aren’t, God has promised us more beyond this life. People today often offer the opinion that it doesn’t really matter what one believes, as long as it works for them. Yet, why is it acceptable to us that so many people lose hope? Other than in cases where people’s internal hormone levels are all out of whack (which puts their actions beyond their control), what one believes must have an impact on one’s decision making. And knowing that God says, among other things, through the prophet Jeremiah, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” is significant. God has such plans for both us and our loved ones. It is only when one sees a future that is only full of more pain and misery that one falls into despair.
Men, in particular, need to be taught at a young age that they must not “put all their relationship eggs in one basket.” A rejection by a woman is not a rejection of their worth. There is a future out there, even when that future might not include who we hoped it would be with. It is just madness to think that the answer to a failed relationship is for both people to die (and oftentimes to leave children, as in this case, without parents).
If a human being has a temperature, doctors know there is an issue going on in their body. We, as a society, need to realize something is wrong – not just with others – but with us – when too many are making such decisions and lives are being lost. Who can say what might have been? Who is to say what contributions that both Jovan and Ksandra could have made, what future children may have been born, if a better path was chosen?
All we can do, beyond offering our prayers, is actively working for such tragedies to stop replicating in our society. And that begins by recognizing that we, all of us, have a problem.
What do you think?
Until next time,